dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize