Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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