I just saw a hot homeless man
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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