Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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