am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
