If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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