shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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