he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
