i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
