how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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