In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
