Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
