thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
