is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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