id be glad to
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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