i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
