it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
