i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize