Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
