Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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