The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
