This is not my ceiling
im six kinds of drunk right now
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize