He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
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