So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
