I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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