You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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