stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
