We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
