just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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