So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize