Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
