put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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