i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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