we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
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Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
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Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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