how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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