butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
