New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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