whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
