Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she woke up with a sticky ear
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
