I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
