u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
