dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize