if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
