I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
no. you can't hotbox the world.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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