Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
