Will you blow on my dice?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
