I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
