Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
