Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
