I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
