Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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