i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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