im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
