Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
