Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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