I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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