I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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