I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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