Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
