Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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