Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
