Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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