fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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