btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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